They rather hold their bulky camera,
than hold hands with you
On a romantic date,
you’ll watch the sun go down and think “Wow this is gorgeous” and they’ll go “mirror lock, tripod, and stop down f/8 at 1/125.”
You’ll never be able to enjoy tv, movies, or magazines
because they’ll point out all the visual flaws
They like to sit in obscure coffee shop
and voyeuristically watch people for great lengths of time
If you’re taking a walk outside
and you come across some “interesting light”
they will make you sit/stand/pose in public
so that they can take a photo
You’ll never get to enjoy freshly cooked meals
because they’ll spend 15 minutes taking 20 variations
of the same dish with their iPhone
They get angry when your friends go up to them
and say “I am interested in photography,
can you recommend a good camera for me?
Nothing professional I just want to take pretty pictures”
You’ll wait longer for them to finish analyzing art in a museum than you’ll wait at the dmv
Same goes with old used bookstores
When you think they’re giving you their undivided attention, they’re really wondering how they could fix you
with a little Clone Tool and Patch Tool
Or they are actually using you to not look so creepy
as they people watch everything going on around you
They rather drop $1,000+ on new glass than a purse for you
You can’t take a photo with them
without taking at least five more
If you ask them if you look fat,
they’ll say “don’t worry I can photoshop you later”
They’ll never photoshop something simple for you
if the content is not up to their “standards”
That photo they randomly took of you yesterday?
Good luck getting them to send it to you
They spend all their time on the computer (and not for porn)
They can’t have a normal conversation withot
throwing acronyms and random numbers
They still use film cameras
They spend a lot of time with people cooler than you
i.e. models, actors, musicians, successful rich people
They’ll be fussy over the position of a common household object, like a coffee cup
They won’t return your calls or text messages,
but you can bet they’re still posting pics on Instagram
They like watching old films that you’ve never heard
or will ever understand
They like looking at weird things in general
Instead of having penis-envy, they have camera-gear-envy
If there’s a natural disaster in a far away land,
they’re already on a plane going over there
Everything is watermarked
They think everyone else’s photos suck
They want to color correct a lot of scenes
from Twilight and Jersey Shore
They hate rainbows, especially ones spinning in a circle
and the conversation goes deep,
they’re taking notes in some form of Moleskin
They use over priced Moleskin notebooks
They like trespassing into old abandoned buildings
filled with health hazards
but don’t really care if you like it or not
They hate your n00bie friend’s new artsy profile picture
Bright, sunny days make them sad,
but cloudy, overcast days are apparently great!
They’ll take you into places that have “culture” as well a high chance of getting mugged
Your birthday present will be a portrait that
they’ve taken of you
You can’t go anywhere new without them stopping to take a photo of everything and anything
They will always bug you to be a test subject
Nothing can ever be naturally pretty,
everything must be fixed in Photoshop
Bringing their camera means,
bringing 50lbs of equipment
If you break any of their things on accident,
you’ll owe them thousands of dollars
You can’t get them a birthday/Christmas present
without spending at least $500
They are natural hoarders,
collecting and keeping piles of old newspapers,
packaging, magazines, and other things that “inspire” them
They are weird and geeky
They have hard drives of photos,
but probably have printed 10 images
They are always secretly judging your creativity
If you’re ever in auto mode, they laugh at you
Reasons by Rob Skeoch
They always want to show a new photo they took, Whenever you’re in a group talking
Photo by George Wong
